October 12th, 2007

02:43 pm - Coming Soon: Project Movado Today is the day we are coming, and we are NOT backing down. 08 .Prepare for colors and portals and infinite sound. Project Movado... Current Mood: determined

(3 Moonbeams | Click Me)

October 1st, 2007

(2 Moonbeams | Click Me)

September 24th, 2007

10:54 pm - R.I.P- Leamon The Great 02/22/1988 - 09/24/2007 me too... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Grexican't Date: Sep 24, 2007 1:12 PM omg. i cannot believe that. shit.. i feel like i have lost a brother. why is everything so fucked up like that? thank you for keeping me informed.. im sorry. i hope everyone will be okay.. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: ~Hilari Dawn~ Date: Sep 24, 2007 4:07 PM my father just called... Josh passed away... they are saving as many organs as they can because he was an organ donor... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Grexican't Date: Sep 24, 2007 1:04 PM yeah i feel bad for everyone and i really hope that josh is in no type of pain since he's unconscious.. this type of thing shouldnt happen to good people... i feel bad because i didnt even talk to josh since i left the apt. ugh... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: ~Hilari Dawn~ Date: Sep 24, 2007 3:58 PM I think that is the hospital... I knew it was "sh" something.... I am still in shock, Im upset and frustrated and agry that this happened to such a good person, and Im so mad that I went so long without seeing him. I love that kid... I just gotta keep praying for him. Doctors have been wrong a lot... theres no reason why they cant be wrong this time... theres still hope, there has to be. I alreafy feel so bad for the family of his friend that was with him... how horrible. But yeah, thats the hospital, he is in ICU as far as I know, he was this morning, Im sure he is still there ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Grexican't Date: Sep 24, 2007 12:47 PM shands hospital? omg.. i cant believe that. thank you for keeping me posted. thats horrible. i cant believe this is happening. geez... yeah im sure heather has to know by now but then again she didnt have a phone the last time i was there so thered b no way to communicate with her ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: ~Hilari Dawn~ Date: Sep 24, 2007 3:38 PM I dont know anything else right now, I think the name of the hospital begins with an S... Thats about all I remember... I dont know who was with his, I think he had a roommate named Chris tho? Is that right? I dunno... But we think it was one of his roommates that also worked with him at Wiginton. But when everyone got to the hospital, the doctors werent really telling them anything and they didnt know who the passenger was. It only makes sense that its his roommate who also got a job at Wiginton tho, dont ya think? But who really knows. They were trying to stabalize his blood pressure cuz it kept going up and down but so far, from what I know, there is no change. The doctors do not think he will make it tho. I dont even know if Heather knows yet, she's gotta know by now. I'm at home going crazy not knowing anything new, But if you dont find out before me, I will definitely keep you posted ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Grexican't Date: Sep 24, 2007 11:11 AM really? damn... i dunno what to say. what hospital is he at? do u know who was in the car with him? omfg... tell me any extra info you have plz. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: ~Hilari Dawn~ Date: Sep 24, 2007 11:22 AM Hey, I dont know if you have heard yet but Josh was in a bad accident this morning on his way to work. Whoever was in the car with him already passed away... and there doesn't look to be much hope for Josh. He is in critical condition in ICU and he is in the lowest level of consciousness without being dead. The doctors already told his family he probably will not make it. Please keep him in your thoughts. Everyone is praying for him. He is strong and I hope he is fighting right now for his life. Current Mood: sad Current Music: No Doubt- Don't Speak

(2 Moonbeams | Click Me)

August 1st, 2007

08:39 pm - where? Cruel Summer. Thats where. So this will probably be the last week i'll be on here in a long time because i have been blindsidedly bullshitted (once again) haha. and to be quite honest i am tired of shit just getting harder and harder but this might be for the best. Or at least in my opinion... the month lives up to its standards- Cruel Summer. This is why i name it as is. The summer is always cruel. But i would rather leave here then continue living in a house where everyone is against me and one cunt gets her way therefore i'm the underdog and everyone secretly rallies against me. so to that- fuck you. i guess nobody will say anything to my face. oh well right? The only person who did came dangerously close to getting his face stomped in at 6:30 in the morning. This is the perfect time for anger and drive. Sweetness. Absolute sweetness. ta ta for now... Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Maplestory music!

(14 Moonbeams | Click Me)

June 25th, 2007

09:24 pm - The Mesogoths- Mesogoths were absorbed by Solurians before the Visigothic Cathleenium. I could say taken over but this is not the fact. At the time Sceneogoths, Gepids, and Mesogoths were united, but each ruler was either banished, excommunicated nationally, or stepped down. This all happened very fast. A small silent battle ensued between Mesogothic Princess and the Solurian Emperor at the battle of "Way Away" where a line in the san was drawn to guarantee a next battle. The next battle was also silent but the victory was loud. This battle was affectionately known in Solurian Chronicles as The Battle of "One More Minute". So ultimately, by this point Solurians were made up of the native people, the allied Ostoroths, and absorbed people which came in numbers by this time, Mesogoths, Gepids, old Sceneogoths, Volgagrads, Zapods, Ultratex, and many others that were either take over by them or absorbed into them. The Mesogoths were the most powerful group up until Solurians met The Original Visigoths. The Mesogothic Princess had one more battle with the Solurian Emperor after the absorbtion which was called simply "Anachronism". The Solurian Emperor ultimately won and the Mesogothic Princess assimilated herself with Solurian rule... even entering as once very highly reguarded but talked about very little in Solurian Chronicles. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: Shinedown

(Click Me)

June 5th, 2007

06:33 pm - - Sun Sign: Virgo Sun 3° Virgo 29' Virgo Horoscope for today » Moon Sign: Aquarius Moon 20° Aquarius 19' Aquarius Horoscope for today » Rising Sign: Virgo Ascendant 24° Virgo 38' Virgo Horoscope for today » Get your own astro stats Powered by Tarot.com

(Click Me)

June 2nd, 2007

11:59 am - the new As i sit here listening to the actual song... It reminds me what yesterday marked. Yesterday marked the hardest period in the year from june 1st to september 1st called you (didn't) guessed it... The Cruel Summer. Actually i consider this Cruel Summer 19. yeah. Typically The Dog Days run from april to may but sometimes from march to may. either way come to think of it they are usually harder. Oh well life isnt easy right? So i wonder what is in store for The Cruel Summer? Hopefully i see a one night only in the future because i havent had the opportunity to do one since halloween and i think i might lose my touch if i dont do one real quick like lol Current Mood: groggy

(4 Moonbeams | Click Me)

May 28th, 2007

01:45 am - everyone Most people kill themselves because of a mental condition. This would be true in my case too if i were currently about to kill myself. The condition I suffer from is that I am not normal, I am not like everyone of you "sane" people. I am not normal in the sense that I am not like every other one of you brain-dead zombies. I can think. I can reason intelligently. I can observe and learn from life. I can make my own decisions and follow through on them. And I can do these without any aid from celebrities, T.V. or radio. Unfortunately, every one of you shit-brained lemmings seem to lack these skills and I can't fucking take it any more. Since everyone else in this world is a fucking retarded drone who revels in their ignorance and unintelligence, I must put an end to my misery. I truly wish I was normal. I wish I could be a fucking retarded sponge like all of you. I wish I could have the same conversations day in and day out about sports, politics and "how about that weather huh?". But I can't. Sure you'll see this note and say Solare's the crazy one. You have to it's the only way you can go on thinking you're sane and your pathetic life is meaningful. Go ahead, call me the weirdo like everyone else surely will. Then return to your happiness of everyday mindless monotony. My only wish is that the bullet I will eventually put into my brain doesn't kill me but only leaves me brain dead. For if ignorance is bliss and everyone of you fuck-for-brains is truly happy, then living a life without a brain stem in a coma, devoid of any cognitive ability must surely be utopia. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Christina Aguilera- Genie In A Bottle

(Click Me)

May 24th, 2007

08:46 pm - its actually raining. so what if right now everything's wrong? what the fuck? Ok i try to be open and honest, no secrets and where does it get me? In even deeper in an even more awkward situation. I dont get it. Why does shit like this happen? I dont even know. I try to approach things gently and i get struck. If i'm forceful, i risk hurting the situation 50x. how do you tell someone thattheres not much else that can be done except let the 3rd party get over it? i dunno. Current Mood: confused Current Music: The Cranberries - Dreams

(Click Me)

May 21st, 2007

01:38 am - breathe out so i can breathe you in. i hate being sick. i feel like shit. not that i normally dont when im alone but i actually have a cold or something now. I actually would like to die. yeah. i went outside and just looked up. Just looking at the stars. having fun with the dippers looking at that beautiful crescent moon and it really makes you realize that each and every one of us suck compared to that. "the big picture" that one false move could end it all for anyone at anytime and this just wouldnt matter. all the shit. and there is a lot of shit that has been endured on my end of the stick. and even random moves can end it all. shit we can control and i have seen that first hand and felt the shock of losing someone. but thats not my problem. my problem is the same it has always been, "i'm tired of this". Every night makes me hate the day. i have no need to explain myself. i have done it more than i care to. all in all, im tired of sticking around. "sanity now and beyond me- i will always love you." so i got some really awesome pics of me and my mommy back in the day. she looked so young.. i swear she looked like she was 14 or something.. but she was still so cute. that why brandi is so beautiful because we have a beautiful mother.. although i think she looks more like Aunt Cynthia. I can only look at those pics and know that there was a time when Stephanie did love me. I looked so happy. Current Mood: sick Current Music: Gina G - Ooh Ahh Just a little bit

(Supernova | Click Me)

May 15th, 2007

06:41 pm - if you steal my sunshine Lets make it clear that i know whoever we are around we pick certain things up. Some things can't be shaken no matter how hard you try to relenquish it from someone. once someone has been around someone for so long you can see the influence that had once affected them. well that is only if you knew the other "influencers". anyways. anyways the dream- so i had a dream about me killing myself. "suprise" i dont remember too much about it. it was how i imagined one of the ways i'd do it. but i actually rose from the dead like i was laying in a big metal box in a room and i could barely move but i somehow pushed myself out of this thing and i could barely get up and i couldnt hold my head up and there was blood all over my face and in my eyes. there was some stuff in between but i dont remember all i remember is seeing angeljin and she was frightened and i beat up some red haired dude and bit some chick that hit me with a tire iron. i have no clue how it ended either i just remember being able to barely contol my body and dragging myself and not being able to lift my head up. weird stuff lol. Current Mood: blank Current Music: Limp Bizkit feat. Xzibit - Getcha Groove On

(Supernova | Click Me)

May 5th, 2007

08:40 pm - just to remind myself who i am This is just so we all don't lose sight on who the fuck i am. this so called "life" that i lead is crazier than anyone i have met. Quite frankly my life was fucked before i was born. That hasnt stopped me yet. To be honest i have taken alot of shit from alot people. You know.. before i could really fight. One bomb to another. Whore mom, great grandmother stroke, people saying they didnt want me, passed around house to house, crazy parents (without any details because thats too much), i never really had a life when i was supposed to have one. You know the teenage years. Everything i did was supposedly wrong. You know i didn't clean the kitchen down to every last detail or i'd keep a bad grade from the parents. Yeah i know it sounds horrible, right? I guess it would have been better if i smoked out everyday, drugs right and left, stayed out all hours of the night, drank all the time, maybe the alternate of that, stay locked up in my room playing on the computer all day.. and night. hmm seems like two people might have already done that. i'll admit a few times when i got the chance i did crazy stuff. But the punishment for something like that would have been out of this world. So i really didnt bother. alot of stuff happened that i wont go into that caused almost a permanent depression i guess you could say. This and that happened and i was kicked out ya know. shit happens shit happens shithappens then im here now. making it how i can, doing what i can, and living life how i can. I know this isnt detail but asking brings answers and answers bring detail. Now one must understand where my immense anger comes from, my carelessness, my disreguard for the rules, my confidence in being able to remove anyone who displeases me. My misanthrope mind set is greatly explained if i am asked because i am never afraid to tell. Alot of the reasons might not be right but alot of shit aint right so it's never been an issue with me. If life is not fair then why the fuck should i be. to be quite frank, i hate most everything. there are two sides to me a very dark side and a very light side. I get into the dark when work is involved because i hate that place or when i think of the bottomless pit that life has been for me in general. But my light side can be brought out by my dark side because i love breaking the rules and lah blah blah and Dana is a real stream of happiness for me... anyways I don't care that i am not a very good person, i won't lie about that like some distinct old mother fucker i know. I'm pissed off, im nice when i wanna be , you dont tell me what to do i choose to do what is right when i choose to, my angry look is there for a reason, just a reminescence of what everything was like. i am NOT to be fucked with. You get on my shit list and you'll feel why it's my shit list. Words dont stay words long with me. If i say i will beat your ass, it's time to throw down. so really what im saying is that the real me can be a real drag, a real bastard, a real pain in the ass and most of all, a real asshole. Bitches Cakes Current Mood: blank Current Music: Matchbox Twenty- If you're gone

(8 Moonbeams | Click Me)

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